Today … 

I was excited this morning when I woke up. I had one cleaning job scheduled then I was going to pick my daughter up from respite. As I was getting ready I got a phone call … Her discharge had been canceled. She threatened to hurt herself if she came home. She said that we were mean and she would bang her head against the wall if she came home. So she was put on strict unit restriction. I sat on the floor and cried. I was so ready to get her home and love her and make her feel safe and do what needed to be done. 

I called back and spoke to her inpatient therapist. He agreed that he believed she did that so she could stay in the hospital. She is the cutest most manipulative 5 year old and has the staff wrapped around her little finger. So she gets her way a lot when there. Who wouldn’t want to be there right? 

I called to check on her this evening and was told a story I could relate to. Being on unit restriction means there are boundaries. She realized she had lost control. In an attempt to gain control she was biting, punching, spitting, shouting, blowing her nose … everything she does when she is at home, with me in control. 

I am glad that they see what we have been telling them for two months. Now maybe they will know how to help her. Now they can help me help her. 

We will see how she does tomorrow. I’m not quite sure where we go from here. There is a RTC that has an attachment program in the area ready to take her. Are we at that point now? Is that what she needs? Is that what my other children need? I don’t know … 

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